it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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