haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
