I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize