dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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