um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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