On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
