I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
