nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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