I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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