she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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