sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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