I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Even my vagina gasped.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
