she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
