I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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