I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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