I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The air taste purple.
Randomize
