Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
