We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
