She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There r osticjed everywhere
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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