garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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