hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
