Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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