State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
