No stitches, just platelets and will power
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize