too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need to align my fucking chakras
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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