Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
