someone owes me an orgasm
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
