You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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