Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
