.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
