im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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