So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I understand Curling. That high.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
