She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
