You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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