we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My life is pants optional.
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