i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
