You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
