we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Couch. On fire.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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