I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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