hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
