I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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