No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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