why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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