So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
