I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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