apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
