there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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