Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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