I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
