I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
