I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
