NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
