You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Who died my cat blue again?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
