I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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