He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
