Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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