Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
