I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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