shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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