if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
