I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
