i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is