You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
