I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
